nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
