I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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