once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
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I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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