he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
BRING THE BAGELS
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
