the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
