Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
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I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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