Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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