guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
