____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize