I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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