Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
