Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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