I'm eating all of the evidence.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
