I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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