where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
