I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
