Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
