okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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