you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
