we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
