I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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