I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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