If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
