I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
