Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
