I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
