I'm gonna have a badass scar
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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