I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
