I bet he comes in French.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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