i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
