craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
