hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
