Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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