everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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