she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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