oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
