We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
