and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
