absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
