If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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