Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
