they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
