Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
