they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
