Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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