if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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