How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
