I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
