The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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