I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i drank out of a bidet.
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I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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