Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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