my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
