Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
