I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
